Hello Stranger

Wow...so here we are. Almost 6 months into this journey. I know that it's been a while since I've given you all something to maul over, but you know...life gets in the way some time. It's been very busy, and yes, I know that that's no excuse for not keeping up. I have to be honest, I thought that I'd be further along by this time. On the other hand, I can't believe how far I've come. I'm nearing a large milestone that I'm hoping to hit by the 18th. 6 months in.....wow....I can't believe it. Here's some numbers for everyone. I started this whole deal wearing snug fitting 4xl t-shirts, 48" pants, and my dress shirt was a neck size 22 with a sleeve 36/37 so that I could get the shirt long enough. This was as of May. I can now say that I am now comfortably wearing 3xl shirts. Jeans that I haven't been able to wear since 2009 (42" waist) are falling off me, and my dress shirt that I purchased for Mary and Joel's wedding was a neck size 19 and sleeve 35/36. SERIOUSLY?!!? 3 inches from my neck? It's hard to see sometimes that I've been changing my body. Then I look at some pictures of myself from earlier this year, or even from this time last year. Hard to believe. I was comparing my licence to someone else's today and noticed that even in August 2010, I was larger than I am now. You could see it in my face....I had no shape to my face. It was like my head went straight down into my shoulders. Pictures from when we shipped some machines to SEMA (largest convention trade show for the automotive and automotive parts/machinery industry) last October. HUGE difference! In case everyone is not aware, my initial goal that I gave myself when i started this whole deal was to drop 150 pounds. 375 to 225. Well, I won't tell you where I'm at now, some of you already know where I'm floating at...if you do, please don't spoil it for everyone else. I will update everyone on my current weight at that time. I've got some other numbers for everyone on that update.....a look back at how long ago it was since I was THAT weight.....Also, you'll notice that I haven't updated my "myfitnesspal" page...all will be revealed in 6 days. So, until then....Love you all! DJS II

3 Months......

Well gang, here we are. Today I tally the chalk to signify 3 months. 3 months of change, excitement, disappointment, struggle, success, failure, and triumph. Needless to say, it's been a wild ride. So much has happened in my life that I cannot even place into words that would help you understand. I'm feeling the best that I've felt in a VERY long time, but yet I still struggle daily. It seems that the better I feel, and the more happy I become, the stronger my demons become.

Something off my chest.......

sometimes I wish that i could just curl up in a ball, go to sleep, and wake up on my grandparents floor. In the middle of a rain storm, playing board games with my grandma and stealing a few extra cookies from my grandpa's cookie jar. I'm missing them dearly right now. I wish they were still around......sometimes I feel cheated. Sometimes I feel like I was shorted something in life because I never knew my other grandpa, or my uncle. I have to look at photo's and imagine what they must have been like to be around. Just to be in their presence....I like to think that their spirit lives on inside those that are still here. That I can gain some semblance of them through those who they left behind. This is too much for me to wrap my head around, but yet, it's something that I must face. I guess it becomes a part of growing up, knowing where you came from, and what makes YOU as a person. I believe that we're all individuals, shaped by influences, but directed by only yourself. I can't help but wonder...what if. Ya know? What if, a bit of those who have passed...what if a part of them becomes you? You're still you, but built spiritually recycled with those who loved you and you didn't have a chance to love them, or even for a short time to be with and around them. A part of your life....maybe I'm just tired, or maybe I'm finally letting some emotion show that's been bottled within for far too long. I'm just going to throw it out there. I miss A LOT of people. I wish I could hold on to every person i love, and never let them go. I originally posted all of this in facebook....but this cannot be my status...this is more than a status...this, I believe, is far more than I've let show at any one time for anyone. This. is. fact. Time to lay down my head and try to shut my brain off...even for a moments rest, before the new day and all of it's antics, distracts me again.....

It's been a while, since.....

Ok...so. Here we are again kids. I thought that I would update you all on my journey. So...here's what's been up with me. I've been kicking some ass when able. Now I'll admit. I've not been hitting the gym at the regular interval that I originally intended. That being said, I'm still getting there....Life is just getting in the way I guess you could say. Trying to get to the gym is crazy....between actually wanting to be at home and then the band, and work...it's just...wow...where to fit it all in? So, I've been eating a lot better. Still trying to limit my pop intake...when I do drink it, it's all diet. I haven't had a regular, or what I call...fully leaded...pop since June 17th. I started this thang over a month ago...so let's get down to the brass tacks...Weighed in today, last week I was 353.5 pounds, this week...349!!! Down 4.5 pounds!!! How about that? Not only did I rock another awesome weigh in, but I'm under 350 pounds!!! I can't tell you how awesome that feels. Well, I guess I can, kind of. Let me kick a little story at you. Last week, I decided that I should probably try on some of these jeans I had laying around that USED to fit me. Well, let's just say that I now have 3 of those 5 pairs of jeans that fit! It's been a long time for that. Also, I had a pair of shorts in my drawer that I hadn't been able to fit into in over a year....so yes, those fit as well!!! My normal wardrobe, pre fitness-ass kickingness..., are now to the point where I almost can't wear them. I have a pair of shorts that are way too big that I'll have to donate. I have another pair that used to be so tight, that it would drive me nuts when I sat down....you know, where you have to keep pulling the belt loop so your waist stops hurting? Well, those literally fall off my ass if I don't hold them up. What a terrible problem to have..ha! I also have a few shirts that just makes me look really bad. Like when you were a kid and you want to wear your dad's clothes...Ok, maybe not that extreme..but it's large. Kind of sad though really...I have a ton of clothes from my "smaller" days that I'm not quite into yet. I've been trying to find exercises and diets that work for me. You may be saying..."well dummy, you're losing weight...somethings working". Yes, true. There's always a better way! So starting next week, I'm going to start a diet that should really impact my mid section. That damn stomach! Last week I started working on the core...Abs, obliques, thighs, hips, and yes..though I lack one...ASS. This is where the bulk of my weight is carried. It would be so nice to not have to worry about my stomach flab hanging past the bottom of my shirt. Most of my shirts are much better with this now, but...how embarrassing it was/is. Walk around...and without even lifting my arms up, just barely walking..there's my flab, taking a peek to see what was happening with the world....It would be so awesome to get this under control. I would just be so happy to crunch that mid section into oblivion....There are some things I can't do yet. Like hanging leg lifts....still too heavy, and I can't support myself. I will tell you where I am getting better. Everyone is familiar with the eliptical (sp) machines? Well I honestly could not do more than a minute of this exercise. Saturday, I rocked out 5 minutes. My goal by Aug 1st is to be at 10 minutes. BTW, that machine is NO JOKE!!! It got my heart rate up and quick. I got a serious sweat rolling with that bad boy. So before I leave you, I want to share this with you. My weight loss goal. Next Wednesday, I turn 31 years old. My goal...31 pounds. So from June 18th, to August 1st... I'm calling it, 31 by 31. Realistic? I think so...but it's going to take some serious work.... 5 more pounds...that's all I need! BEAST MODE!!!!

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Time Flies....

wow, so here we are. It's been a while I know. A lot has happened since we last spoke....well, since I last spoke and you listened. Let's see....right, after my kick ass week 1 posting of 12 pounds, I had quite a busy week. I went to see my Doctor, let's just call him D. So I went to see D for my annual check up for the High BP. I told him that I started faithfully going to a gym and that I had already lost 12 pounds and blah blah blah....he looked at me and said..."really? Just now? Have you thought about having surgery for your weight loss? It's either that or you stop eating, and you obviously can't do that so I think you're out of options." I was floored. Did I really just hear that D say that to me? Now let's be clear, yes I have procrastinated a bit with getting healthy, and yes he has been seeing me for 3 years, but a professional should NEVER come at someone like that. So naturally, I start to get pissed. Like, who just ran their keys down the side of my new car, pissed. To boot, this is right before he takes my BP reading. So I know that my number is going to be high based on my mood alone. I tried my best to relax and make light of the situation. I placed that backhanded comment into my motivation vault. I have quite a few things in there that will push me, D's comment....oh man, that one will make me move mountains. Back to the story...so I calm down best I can and my reading looks good. Still a tinge elevated, but better. Also, I noticed my heart rate was lower as well. Tiny victory for me. After that he draws my blood like normal and yada yada yada.... well then the next day, my band played down at the Kentucky Speedway. HOT!!! got my sweat on, but it also wasn't a very good day for me eating wise. Stadium burger, then that night, Larosas pizza...wheat crust mind you. Which is very tasty and I recommend it. Saturday wasn't much better....just laid around....still tired from Friday. I hit the gym for a bit on Sunday, but not as hard as I wanted. Weigh in day Monday....UGH...2 pounds....really?!!? I thought I did better, but I guess not. Armed with this, I set out to do better. I hit the gym hard on Wednesday...I mean..HARD. Almost 2 miles on the 'mill, a few miles on the bike of doom and then started weight training. Arms and chest. Wow, I couldn't believe how weak I've become. 3 different machines, 3 sets each. It hurt, but felt soooo good. I hit the gym again Friday evening. Got there a little late and hadn't eaten in quite a while so i was a bit weak. I got over a mile in on the 'mill and then tried my hand at the elliptical. Holy quad muscles Batman....I managed a total of 5 minutes. Now I know my leg's weak point that I have to start working on. I also did some follow up weight training. Same machines, same routine. Saturday I went out to my fathers place and enjoyed some good company and the pool of course. Very nice! I wanted to get to the gym today, but damn the lazy bug. So I'm forcing myself to get out before work. Hitting it at 615! I hope the weigh in goes well... I fear I'm hitting that early wall...

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It's been...one week

Well, today is the day.  Weigh in day...and if you see my tracker there you already know...down 12 pounds this week!!!  I was surprised it was that much to be honest.  Sure I got after it Monday and Wednesday last week...but then life got in the way.  I became too busy to be able to get to the gym and work out.  I was able to stick with the diet as much as possible....which I believe is what saved me.  I had every intention of getting to the gym Saturday morning but woke up feeling ill.  Had an awesome show Saturday night with the release of my band's EP.  Check us out if you haven't already HERE.  So I thought, Sunday....I'll get after it on Sunday....oh no, not the case.  I woke up with the worst back pain ever.  I could hardly walk, but still, the diet plan prevailed.  This morning I approached the scale with apprehension....step one, step two....the digits cycled.....then landed on 363.  Wow...12 pounds!?!  This is what motivation feels like....

Here's to week two!

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Track me...

So I've decided to add my tracker so that the world can see it...granted that all depends if the link works..ha.    Keep in mind though that I'll be updating my weight every Monday.  Anyhow...off night tonight...but I think that I may still go for a little while.  Isn't that crazy?  I don't have to go to the gym, but I WANT to go to the gym.  I wonder why?  What is it inside of me that wants to do this?  I mean, why do something that is so hard?  Being overweight and unhealthy is easy...just eat junk and do nothing...I can do that...there's no way you can mess that up.  Now before anyone reads that and says.."hey, I know big people who aren't unhealthy and/or active".  If anyone of you thought that, you've missed the point.  This is about ME....dig?  Very easy for ME to be big and lazy....I'm drifting here...anyhow.  For those that read my words, thanks for taking the time.  For those who read this and haven't talked to me in a while....give me a call.  I'd love to hear from you.  I do remember a time when I was in constant contact with my "friends"....that is one thing I do miss about the old me...

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